A man was on the edge of the bed as his wife looked at herself in the mirror. "Oh, to be six again," he heard her say.
Well, her birthday was coming up, and he got a brilliant idea for the best present ever. On the morning of her birthday, he brought her a bowl of Lucky Charms and told her he was taking her to Six Flags. When they got there, he put her on every ride---the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster. He bought her ice cream and cotton candy. On the way home he stopped at McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal. Then he took her to the movies---a big bucket of buttered popcorn and giant soda, coming right up.
When she collapsed on the bed, sick to her stomach from being upside down and eating junk all day, he leaned over and asked, "Honey, what was it like being six again?"
She looked up at him and wiped that silly smile right off his face. "I meant my dress size, you dumb ass!"
Morale of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it wrong.
Something like this happened to me once. Years ago, I coveted my stepgrandmother's sapphire and diamond wedding band. I told my husband how much I liked it. I might even have left a jewery store flyer with a sapphire and diamond ring taped to the TV so there was a chance he'd see it. Christmas came, and lo and behold, there was a ring box in my stocking.
I opened it. Inside was a pretty emerald and diamond wedding band. Like the rude ungrateful Vixen I am, I said, "But they're not sapphires!"
His first words: "You wanted sapphires? They would have been cheaper."
His second words:"You can wear it and think of my eyes."
His eyes are hazel green (like my heroes, come to think of it). I kept the ring, and think of him, the dumb ass.
The Big Mis is a big thing in romance. Are you a fan or not? Do you have your own Big Mis story, fiction or fact?
12 comments:
I love that story!
I picked and had my wedding right set myself... because I would have been disappointed when (not if) my hubby screwed it up. I'm trying to think if I ever use it. I don't think I do.
I agree with Tiff---I love that story. John's a keeper, that's for sure. *g*
And yes, I'm a lover of the Big Misunderstanding. The Bigger, the better.
Oh that's good. I would have just been flabbergasted to find my husband had bought jewellery without a noose around his neck dragging him to the store. *sigh* Funny, he'll buy me anything else--but he hates to buy jewellery. Maybe it's because he's afraid I won't want emeralds ;-)
And I love a misunderstanding, but in books I can't stand it when it's a misunderstanding that gets blown out of proportion over something that could have been resolved with one or two words of communication.
I love that story. My ex once bought me a ruby ring from...wait for it...Walmart. Not that Walmart doesn't have nice stuff, but this looked like he'd gotten it out of a gumball machine. And I never liked rubies so I don't know what he was thinking. I returned it to the store and bought myself a pair of deer-skin Ropers.
I picked out my wedding rings for this exact reason. Then ended up having to pawn them a few years ago when things got rough. *sigh* I really wish I could have kept those.
I'm with J.K. Drives me nuts when it's something that could easily be cleared up.
Awww...that's a sweet story. Me, I'd been giddy with either one, though I'd be slightly baffled why anyone would buy me jewelry. I never wear it.
Now a tattoo...
Hmmm...the misunderstanding. I remember one when I was dating Mikey. (Who knew he'd have a jealous streak. Goober.) He was eavesdropping (mistake number one) and I was talking with my friend about another friend of ours (who happened to be a guy)--and my friend said, "Liam has the most beautiful eyes. They're sexy..."--and she sounded pole-axed.
"Yes, I know. He's just sexy period though..." then made the mistake of outlining a couple other features (PG, mind you) of things that were sexy about Liam.
So Mikey thought I was madly in love or lust with Liam and stalked around the kitchen like a woman for the rest of the night, and if you asked him what was wrong, "Nothing," he'd snarl and then bang a couple pots around. Goon.
So if I'm dating anyone I try not to mention I find anyone else remotely attractive. Not even George Clooney, because they even get bent about that. (And they say women are moody.) I mean, sure they're sexy...but I don't want to date these people...sheesh.
OMG, Maggie, both those stories are hilarious!
My DH would have bungled along the lines of story #1. As for jewelry, I think his motto is anything he's spending tons of money on he's gonna make sure he gets it right so he asks. Therefore, I did pick out my wedding ring.
I agree with J.K. about the Big Mis thing. I don't like silly misunderstandings that can be cleared up easily. That just seems lazy to me.
The kind of misunderstandings I love are when either the H/H have a completely different idea about the other's personality. Then throughout the story find out the truth - that he/she is really a lot nicer, smarter, moral, loving, etc. than they thought or were led to believe. SEP does this to perfection.
I agree with you all when you say you hate the Big Mis that can be cleared up with a simple question/answer---but there are a whole lot of books that would end after the first chapter, LOL.
Jewelry is a funny thing. As soon as I get home, I take my watch and rings off, but I don't leave home without them (like my lipstick). I have to wear a name tag at work, so I often hang it off a necklace.
I enjoy the big-mis when done correctly. I have this theory that a good author can make anything work for me. And that story was super cute! Alas, I have no stories of my own to share. Not even in fiction.
Maggie... I do that too... I take off my rings when I get home, but put them on as soon as I leave! LOL
i feel bad for the husband, though. his motivations were pure and he got no credit for it. plus, he probably thought she was beautiful the way she was.
also, the painting is very pretty
Great story, Maggie!
People in RL often create complications for themselves and others because of misunderstandings, so I actually like the big mis in fiction unless it is one of those that defies logic. The one I particularly hate is the hero who decides the clearly innocent heroine is a slut based on seeing her manhandled by some jerk or on the word of someone experience has taught him to distrust. Essentially, I don't like stupid characters.
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